I really really wanted to like the movie 3 Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri. But WOW was it bad. Shallow and simplistic characters, plastic dialogue, and, sheesh, Dixon… this guy transforms from a racist Gomer Pile into Mahatma Gandhi all because his boss wrote him a letter saying “you’re a good guy” and “you should love instead of hate.”

Come on!

The whole thing reeked of nauseating progressive propaganda. I assumed it was written by the GOP to mock progressives. But, no.

Clueless, simplistic portrayals of social issues (the police are all mindlessly violent and clinically idiotic, the black people upright and unblemished, but powerless. Well, except for the new black police chief who, though being the platonic ideal of police chiefs, somehow got demoted to working in Ebbing, Missouri).

On top of all this, the movie leveraged all of Hollywood’s story-telling artistry to create brave new levels of self-righteous condescension. Frances McDormand plays the tough protagonist always clad in tough, blue overalls—like the rest of us good, blue-collar peasants, I guess, even though she works in a gift shop. Oh, she’s also the only person in town, of course, who really understands and befriends the black people.

The movie closes after the town “midget who also sells used cars” convinces McDormand that she is unhappy. Then, aforementioned Officer Gomer Gandhi calls McDormand and tells her that, although he couldn’t find her daughter’s killer, he did find another rapist-murderer just in case she wanted to go kill this other guy to satisfy her righteous vengeance. She likes this idea and invites him along, which is great because his depression made him suicidal and he was about to blow his brains out with a shotgun. Thankfully, the angry, unhappy white woman in overalls invited him to join her on her journey of murderous vengeance.

If shallow, uninteresting people with no ethical depth turns you on, you’ll love this movie. But if you hold any standards for believability, and/or if you haven’t been intoxicated by Hollywood progressivism, I implore you to pass on this movie. Go watch YouTube videos on chainsaw maintenance, organize the cleaning supplies under your sink, or literally anything other than this shockingly terrible cinematic production.